So now I own a pair of cricket gloves. I haven’t used them
yet of course on account of being a less good batsmen than most of the people
currently occupying the roster of the local team (and a tendency for it to rain
all the fuck over any game I am scheduled to be participating in) but let’s be
honest, any opportunity to indulge my obsession with gloves of any type is a
welcome one.
I’ve always been a bit wary of cricket as a sport. The participation to drinking ratio in Rugby is frankly far more favourable than cricket, even if you do end up backing up most weekends due to Union’s chronic shortage of large men stupid enough to stick their head in a scrum for kicks. And while I recognise that the two are played at different times of the year, it is nice, on occasion, to be able to respond in the affirmative to suggestions that you do something other than run around on a big patch of grass every single Saturday of the year.
Sadly Laguna is currently entirely devoid of a Rugby Team so I’ve cunningly allowed myself to be signed up to an extremely exclusive ‘Star Player’ contract with the somewhat dubiously named, Laguna Village People Cricket Club (though at least our branding doesn’t feature a giant duck like some other local teams I could mention).
I’ve always been a bit wary of cricket as a sport. The participation to drinking ratio in Rugby is frankly far more favourable than cricket, even if you do end up backing up most weekends due to Union’s chronic shortage of large men stupid enough to stick their head in a scrum for kicks. And while I recognise that the two are played at different times of the year, it is nice, on occasion, to be able to respond in the affirmative to suggestions that you do something other than run around on a big patch of grass every single Saturday of the year.
Sadly Laguna is currently entirely devoid of a Rugby Team so I’ve cunningly allowed myself to be signed up to an extremely exclusive ‘Star Player’ contract with the somewhat dubiously named, Laguna Village People Cricket Club (though at least our branding doesn’t feature a giant duck like some other local teams I could mention).
By ‘Star Player’, I mean – when all the ‘Star Players’ are
unavailable due to holidays, sickness, geographical inconvenience or natural
disaster, I slot in effortlessly at around 12 or 13 on the 11 man team sheet
and get to stand in the God awfully scorching sun while clumsily pursuing any cricket
balls that come my way.
Very occasionally I get to make a spectacular goose of myself by falling down for no apparent reason. Which I’m sure happens to everyone at some point so why are all you bastards laughing so loudly. Stupid long grass.
Very occasionally I get to make a spectacular goose of myself by falling down for no apparent reason. Which I’m sure happens to everyone at some point so why are all you bastards laughing so loudly. Stupid long grass.
It’s fun though and my stats are undeniably impressive.
0-0-1-2-1-1. Or in English – Zero wickets, zero runs, one (dropped) catch, two
wins, one loss and one game called off due to a hail storm of Speilbergian magnitude.
It boggles my mind that Darren Lehmann has not yet been in touch.
To be fair (to me), all of my cricket so far,
like the last two seasons of Rugby I was involved in, has been played immediately
following 10 hour night shifts at an inpatient psychiatric unit. So I’m of the
opinion that slack should possibly be cut.Think I might wander around the house for a bit with my gloves on.
