chapter 2.5: RAIN RAIN GO AWAY COME AGAIN...oh screw it it's not listening to me...

Like most sports these days, Mountain Biking has a fairly well developed competitive element to it, right from small locally based clubs running weekend competitions on tracks they have dug out of the bush themselves, through to the UCI (that’s Union Cycliste Internationale in case you were wondering, the sport’s governing body, currently catching heaps for doing such a good job nailing down Lance Armstrong over the last 15 bloody years) run World Cup and World Championship extravaganzas.

I’ve had a look at the tracks they build for the top level Cross Country and Downhill competitions on some of the many videos YouTube make available to us for the purposes of reminding you how many certifiable lunatics there are out there willing to risk life and limb for personal glory and what is almost certainly not enough cash money. There are rocks and trees and holes and jumps and more rocks. It’s just insane what they come up with.

After the last two weeks of rain out here I reckon they could quite happily run a World Cup Downhill round along the length of my driveway and no one would be any the wiser.

Will you look at those holes for Christ’s sake. How am I supposed to drive a car up and down that mess. Not that there’s any point because both the bridges I need to cross to even get onto the main road are currently under water. Soooo glad I spent a week shovelling decomposed granite onto it, BY HAND, in 35 degree heat 3 months ago. Enjoy my road base, rapidly flowing river that did not even exist until it started pissing down rain like it’s the end of the FREAKING world last week.

NEXT: .....ahem. Normal service resumes.