Wednesday, 5 June 2013

40. STUPID ELITE SPORT NANCY BOYS....

I was watching the Giro d’Italia (which as far as I can tell is Italian for Tour De France) on SBS the other day, mainly because it immediately precedes the excellent and very much underrated Ninja Warrior, and there was footage of one of the lead riders whose bike had had a ‘mechanical’ (which as far as I can tell is Normal Person for ‘busted’).

I was faintly amused I have to say, by the little tanty the guy threw on the side of the road in response to his bad luck – he got off his bike, stomped up and down a couple of times, chucked the bike into the bushes and then retrieved it all in very good time – but then I was amazed to see his support car come screaming to a halt behind him.

In response to furious beckoning, one of his crew ran up with A COMPLETELY NEW BIKE, then gave him a nice big push to get going again before cleaning up the riders now discarded bike, hopping back into the car and shooting off in pursuit of his man (presumably in case he needed to get a new pair of underpants 3kms up the road or something).

Now. I am aware of the arguments around this kind of thing at the top level of any sport. It’s all about allowing the athlete to do what he trains to do at the best level he can and the punters don’t pay to see Cadel Evans (it wasn’t Cadel, he’s just the only name I could come up with at 5 o’clock in the morning. Cadel would have fashioned a new tyre from surrounding vegetation, made the change and been back in the lead before this other guy had finished his first stomping dummy spit because he’s a TOP AUSSIE) or whoever sitting on the side of the road/track/oval twiddling his or her thumbs instead of being all elite and shit.

I reckon those arguments are bollocks.

I could go completely off on the whole interchange/replacement thing at this point (and don’t get me started on all the fluoro wearing bastards that get to run around all over the field during Rugby League and AFL games) but let’s just stick to cycling for the moment.

One of the great justifications for the absolutely INSANE levels of money pumped into the top levels of cycling as a sport (and you can probably apply at least some of this to motor sport as well) is that it allows the big companies to test out new products and pass on what they learn to us. Which is fine. What better way to sort out a bike that I can buy and ride securely for years than to submit it to the punishment of elite competition?

Except if you remove the need for a bike to be durable by allowing a rider to replace it, in its entirety, in the middle of a race, where is the value to me. Particularly as one of the reasons it broke down was almost certainly because it had been so absurdly engineered to be light as a feather with strength a secondary consideration.

And speaking as a punter. I LIKE the idea that a rider can have a breakdown, whip on a new tyre from the gear he is carrying himself and continue on valiantly. Given (in my world at least) all the other guys are in the same boat and just as likely to have the same problem at some point in the race, isn’t that just the kind of thing that makes for truly awesome spectacle.


Next: Friday? I don’t know. I am now making this up as I go.

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