Right. Buy a new bike. How hard can it be? Several obvious questions
present themselves.
1. How much? Now. I’m going to say right here that I am not the sort of person who resorts casually to the use of obscene language and it is certainly not something I will be employing on a regular basis in this Blog as it is neither funny nor clever. Having said that - Did you know it is entirely possible to spend $5000.00 on a bicycle that several writers in the bicycle related magazine sector have the temerity to describe as ‘entry level’.
1. How much? Now. I’m going to say right here that I am not the sort of person who resorts casually to the use of obscene language and it is certainly not something I will be employing on a regular basis in this Blog as it is neither funny nor clever. Having said that - Did you know it is entirely possible to spend $5000.00 on a bicycle that several writers in the bicycle related magazine sector have the temerity to describe as ‘entry level’.
Fuck me.
I will not be spending $5000.00 on a bicycle. And not just because the
suggestion of such a figure would result in my wife literally laughing herself
to death. I am thinking more in the area of somewhere between $2000 and $3000.
Still a figure I will have to raise quickly, indistinctly and at the end of a
conversation possibly unrelated to bicycle purchasing (‘Just popping out to get
some milk dear, I’ll do the bin while I’m at it.....can I spend $2000.00 on a bike? Bye. LOVE YOU’)
but not so outrageous that I’ll feel a need to lie about it to all my friends
afterwards.
2. Mountain bike or Road bike? This is not really a question –
physiologically and aesthetically I’m just not a road bike kind of person. I
think it’s the lycra. And possibly Lance Armstrong.
3. Trail, Cross Country, All Mountain, Dirt Jump, Downhill, Cyclocross,
BMX etc etc? The fact that I am not 14 with my underpants sticking 40cms over
the top of my very tight jeans immediately eliminates BMX and Dirt Jump.
Cyclocross is a bit too roadbikey and Downhill (and to a certain extent All
Mountain) bikes, while certainly impressive in appearance, what with the
MASSIVE nobbly tires, MASSIVE suspension and MASSIVEly outrageous paint jobs
would require me to use terms like ‘Gnar’, ‘Sick’, ‘Bomb’ and ‘Cranked’
(possibly spelt with a ‘K’). Also, it turns out that making a bicycle tough
enough to throw off cliffs and down rock strewn mountainsides makes it so heavy
you can’t actually peddle one up a hill. Which seems silly to me.
So - a Trail or Cross Country Mountain Bike for somewhere in the region
of $2500.00. This is EASY. Why haven’t I done this earlier.
NEXT:
Rigid? Hardtail? Full Suspension? Upgrade? Build?....
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