DAY ONE.
I'm assuming that the 0530 start time for this 3 day extravaganza was part of Principal Howe's ingenious plan to ensure an only just workable level of exhaustion prevailed throughout the 3 days of our whirlwind tour and/or a cunning maneuver to acclimatise us to the significant difference in temperatures between chilly Laguna and the ball freezingly cold Capital Territory.
A masterstroke either way. Getting the kids off to sleep throughout the trip seemed a lot easier than I had assumed it would be and even my recently jumper averse daughter had no problem with donning multiple layers of warm clothing.
Despite following to the letter the instruction to avoid 'milky breakfasts' I spent much of the first hour staring fixedly out the window breathing deeply, thinking happy thoughts and tossing up which of the 8 year olds sitting up front in the anti-spew rows I could physically remove in my weakened state. Thank Christ the sun came up and we hit the nice straight freeway.
Well placed toilet stops unfortunately did not prevent the bus toilet (around which all the lucky adults were seated) getting just enough use to produce a stench that I can only describe as viscous in nature and led to the deployment of what must have been an entire can of spray deodorant in a nearly, but yet not quite successful, attempt to overcome the aggressively maneuvering funky cloud.
ATTRACTION No.1 - The National Gallery of Australia.
An excellent venue with a very engaging tour guy who did a fantastic job of involving the kids in the artistic process. He was of course impressed by the perception and MASSIVE intelligence of our children. Always like visiting the National Gallery, if only to stand in front of Blue Poles making sarcastic comments questioning the artists ability as an artist, suggesting that 'I could paint that pissed and with both my eyes shut' and suggesting that anyone willing to pay the HUGE amount of cash for it that we in fact did must have been pissed.....and had both their eyes shut.
Clear evidence of total devotion to the layering technique vis a vis cold weather clothing - When loaded up with all the coats, jumpers, vests, hats and gloves discarded by the students immediately upon entering the toasty warm Gallery building I needed assistance from one of my fellow parents to navigate the stairs to the cloak room on account of I could not see s**t.
ATTRACTION No.2 - The Australian National Museum (aka That Place With Bits Of Phar Lap In It).
Completely lacking in Dinosaur bones, this attraction was a bit of a disappointment. Mind you, even if there had been dinosaur bones, I would not have got to see them as I was tasked with the supervision of four 8 and 9 year old horse obsessed girls (a description that seems to describe all 8 and 9 year old girls) who would not countenance any activity until Phar Lap had been seen. To my quiet satisfaction, the only bit of Phar Lap in the Museum was his (her?) preserved heart. Never mind. Hey! Check out that big tractor over there!
ATTRACTION No.3 - Parliament House.
Pissing down freezing rain and nearly dark by the time we reached the seat of all power in this wonderful country. We moved inside for bottled water and a snack before briefly chatting to Senator Kate Lundy and our local MP Joel Fitzgibben (who seemed a bit concerned Senator Lundy was stealing his future constituants). We were then put into the hands of a Danishly accented Parliament House Guide who was, um, fairly directive in his manner. Very knowledgable of course. But almost comically directive. 'Ve will now go THIS WAY. My accent is Danish. Yes it is very funny. HAHAHAHA!NOWLETUSGO! Mr Teacher! You will be responsible for one OR POSSIBLY TWO ROPES! IF YOU FAIL......YOU VILL PAY ZE PRICE!'. Educational genius or certifiable lunatic.....I am not yet decided.
With 3 National Attractions under our belt we moved with all pace to the Bush Capital Lodge at.....I have no idea 'cause it was dark and raining. Once fed (a chicken 'curry' entirely lacking in curry like attributes save for being yellow in colour) and inserted into our not all that spacious rooms, we rugged up and popped out for a short but invigorating stroll through the streets. A somewhat controversial decision amongst some of the parents as it had not really stopped raining and some of that rain seemed to be bouncing off things in a manner quite reminiscent of ice. Good for self-discipline and morale in my opinion.
Next: Scrambled eggs! War Memorials! Laser Tag!
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