16. IN WHICH I STACK MY BIKE....

Stack. Such a descriptive word.  I had this stack once. I was at a mate’s house, this was when I was still young enough that my friends were determined by who my parents happened to be hanging out with....which may or may not be relevant....whatever. They lived in a dead end (cul de sac for the upmarket) with a big hill leading down into it that was really excellent for riding bikes or scooters down. Apart from the small issue of stopping room.

On the afternoon of the stack, we were riding scooters, which back then had inflatable tires and were a fair bit larger than the shiny metal affairs the kids get around on these days. Quite fast also. To brake these things, you simply stamped on a piece of metal that rubbed against the rear wheel and consequently slowed you down. I have a distinct memory of being catapulted over the handle bars of a scooter that had brakes that worked a bit too effectively on one occasion.

The reverse however, was the issue on that day. I think the tyre may have been a bit flat so the piece of metal didn’t push hard enough against the rubber...or something. Faced with the rapidly approaching curve of the dead end’s gutter I bailed out, ran about 3 steps, stumbled, and slid along on my guts for what I am sure was about 3 kms, removing a fair amount of skin in the process. I did that crying thing that kids do where they keep trying to breath in, and in, and in and then......everything gets very loud.

The other day I went for ride on an actual bike trail at Ourimbah (as opposed to the dirt roads and fire trails I have ridden on so far) and had the first honest to goodness stack I have had for quite some time.

I was riding along this beautifully crafted trail that wound through the bush down on the valley floor feeling very pleased with myself and thinking - ‘Oh this is what they mean by trail riding. This is brilliant. I’m going to do more of this.’ - when my bar end hooked itself around a small tree. Then I was on the ground and my arse was hurting quite a lot.

 

This is a bar end. I like them because they give you more options for hand positioning and because they make climbing hills a lot easier. I had read that they can hook passing trees while riding trails and was dubious. This situation is now rectified.

Nothing broken. Quite a sore arse. It was fantastic. Like when you play footy and get a cut or a slightly black eye and you get to go to work with it just to remind people how hard and tough you are. Plus I’ve ridden two wheeled transport enough to know that sooner or later you WILL take a fall off it. So when it happens and you get to reset the probability counter without breaking anything serious it’s all for the good (and yes, I am aware that that is not how probability works).

Of course it did occur to me that I hadn’t told anyone I was going to engage in this kind of stupidity and could therefore have lain on the ground for quite a long time waiting in considerable discomfort had I injured more than my right butt cheek so I may take that into account next time.

And there will be a next time.

NEXT: I don’t know. It’s all out of order now....