Beyond the fact that I look less than flattering in a
wetsuit.....or boardies....or anything beach related for that matter. Insert jokes
about whales being rolled back into the ocean etc. Very funny.
I have a fear right, of appearing not competent. Which is
different in my mind to being incompetent. When you’re incompetent you more or
less know you’re going to be bloody hopeless at something before you get into
it. That is of course, if you have any insight into your own abilities at all –
something the perennially incompetent lack almost by definition.
Like dancing for instance. I am fully aware that I am an incompetent
dancer. Something I tried to point out to the directors of The Golden Ass (‘Family
friendly COMEDY HIT of the School Holidays! Tickets on sale NOW at your local
Wine Bar and General Store!) without success. Awkward does not even come close
to describing it. I’d rather do nude runs through the snow than dance – at least
then the punters are laughing WITH me.
Appearing NOT competent is a more complicated issue. See, I
reckon I might have been good at surfing if I had started early enough. I do
have balance and have always liked the t-shirt as a clothing mainstay. It’s
fine to be arse at something when you’re a kid – it’s expected even. When you’re
45 there is an expectation (in my head at least) that you should have sorted
out that kind of stuff years ago. My concern is looking stupid for whatever period it takes me to get good enough that people stop posting videos of you on YouTube.
In the case of surfing I, perhaps unfortunately, had this
confirmed a couple of years ago when a group of us had a surfing lesson on the
NSW Central Coast. The board they gave me was big enough to have a 4 person,
sit down dinner party on. I sank that bastard like it was the Titanic. In the
hour long lesson, held in massive 21cm swell, I managed to get vertical once, for exactly the amount of time it took me fall immediately into the ocean.
The problem with this particular character flaw, is it does
tend to stop you trying new things that might turn out to be fun.
Recent case in point – I never realised that there are trails
specifically built and maintained, to ride mountain bikes on, less than an hour
from where I live. I passed a network of them every time I went to work for 6
years. Not fire trails or dirt roads either. These things have loops and jumps
and berms and all the good stuff that is frankly more interesting than
kilometres and kilometres of wide and boring fire trail or road. Brilliant.
So when I found out about this, did I race immediately down
there and start riding on them. Not at all. What I did, was drive by about a
dozen times, deliberately identifying a time when I could be almost certain no
one else would be there so I could have a go at it without anyone else seeing
me make an arse of myself.
Cause I’m an idiot.
I finally had a go last week and it was a hoot. I even, as
previously mentioned, had a very nice stack. I could however, have been having
a go at it AND having a hoot for at least two months now. As I say – character flaw.
Maybe I should try dancing.....
NEXT: Diggity.
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