Friday 5 April 2013

15. IN WHICH I RIDE A (MOTOR)BIKE...


Risky move this, on the part of my wife - giving me a ride on a motorbike for my last birthday. Not entirely unlike dropping in on your friend who used to have the really serious drug habit to suggest – ‘I know you’ve been off the gear for 20 years but check out this baggie of Guatemalan Brown Beetle Sugar (or whatever the (drug addicted) kids are calling it these days) I’ve got for you –what could possibly go wrong?’

I rode motorbikes for a few years in the late 80’s until the upward line mapping my last bikes repair costs crossed the decidedly downward line mapping my available cash reserves and it ended up getting sold. I wasn’t that cut up about it at the time. The constant mechanical issues had me more than ready to push the thing over a cliff and I probably thought I’d go bikeless for a couple of years, get a job and upgrade to something more in line with my manly, rugged and individualist image.

Got a Corolla instead. Which was very reliable and all, but not exactly Tom Cruise racing an F14 down a runway to Kenny Loggins (I wonder what would happen these days if the US military spotted a helmetless lunatic racing along beside an F14 on a motorcycle).

The ride my wife got me was with a local outfit called Time Travellers (THIS is a link to their website).  They provide bikes (and all the stuff you need to not die riding a bike) to people like me who still have a licence (can you believe I am still licenced to ride a motorbike despite not having swung my leg over one for about 15 years? How insane is that?) but for whatever reason are without the means to ride.

Quick disclaimer – I have not been paid in any way shape or form for the following.

What a hoot. And that was with the rain pissing down on us for most of the ride. Christ knows how much fun it would have been if the weather had been nice. They were even able to provide me with all the gear I needed , including waterproof pants that actually kept my nuts dry and a helmet that I was able to fit my massive melon into (I went to buy an Akubra once – they had to go ‘Out The Back’ to the ‘Special Storeroom’ to get one big enough).

I was I admit, a little worried given my long layoff, but it turned out that riding a motorbike is a lot more ‘just like riding a bike’ than riding a pushbike was (though I did have to be reminded to turn off my indicators on more than one occasion). Plus – totally didn’t die in a horrible and tragic accident that would have left my wife crippled with guilt for the rest of her life.

Cannot recommend it highly enough. For a limited time only use this entirely non-existent bonus offer code (       ) or mention my name when booking for a party of between 17.00567 and 17.006798 on a day ending with a ‘Q’ and Milly or Arthur will give you absolutely nothing off the usual very competitive price.

NEXT: In which I stack my bike....

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